(My very first Testing in TKD)(Thursday, January 1, 2008 - Transferred from a previous blog spot.)
I completely and totally despise New Year's resolutions.
I used to try to make them, but I would usually fall short and give up on them. So, I don't like to make them myself and I have really come to dislike the one's that other's make. I go to theYMCA regularly, but I know now for the next two months I am going to have to fight even harder to get to an eliptical machine because of all the people who have resolutions to '"exercise more in 2008. I am sure it is well intentioned and it may really be helpful. I understand that the end of a year is a good time reflect on who you are and what you want to be different in your life. I also understand that the first of the year is new opportunity (or excuse) to try one more time to make some significant change in your life.
What I find in my own life is that I will usually work harder at things I really really want to work harder at and I will not do that for things that deep down I really don't want to do. That is, saying I need to change something usually doesn't make me do it. I am like most of us; I will not change until my discomfort with where I am is bigger than my fear and/or discomfort with change. However, I spent far too many years thinking of change as a one-time event that I either passed or failed. However, my perspective has been changing over the past several years.
From previous posts, most of you are now aware that I continue to wrestle with issues of saying "NO". I continue to struggle with that. Only recently (as in the past year or so) have I gotten better at this, but I still need to refine this because I continue to find myself often spread too thin with all that I have to do. So, will I work on that in 2008? Yes, but as I have been for the last several years.
Like most people I struggle with finances. I have too little in savings and too many debts. Part of this is my fault because of poor choices and part is due to difficult circumstances that have compounded over the past few years, but the combination of these things has been personally humiliating. I wish I could say that at some point I made a decision to fix my finances and everything since then has been getting better, but it is not the case. I have decided several times to make changes and then I continue to make mistakes. Currently we are making active efforts to increase our savings and pay down some debt. Will I continue to do that in 2008? Yes, as I have been...unfortunately.
Finally, slowly throughout 2007 I gave up some exercising a little at a time. By the end of October I was not getting more than 2 days of exercise per week and, even then, it was not very intense. I have now gained 10lbs and my weight keeps creeping upward. In 2004 I weighed 225. That was down from 262, but now I am at 245. Okay it is really more like 249, but I am having trouble accepting that. I have been increasing my workouts since the first of November. I just got done going through my calendar for January and figuring out when I can put regular workouts into my schedule. I am choosing to participate in workout offered at our church on Sunday Nights this winter rather than leading small group/support groups. (That involves both saying, "No" and emphasizing exercise -- A bonus!) So, in 2008, I will continue to get my exercise back to an acceptable level. I will go to the YMCA a couple days a week and I will continue in Taekwondo a couple days a week (I just got my yellow belt!).
So, I don't really like "New Year's" resolutions, but I guess I do make resolutions. What I hope is different about what I do is that I want to be "perfect" in this, but I probably won't be. If I mess up one day or one week, my "resolution" is not over. I just get up the next day and get back on track. It is the process and the progress that is important, not perfection. (A lesson I learned from Taekwondo.) Oh, yeah, fighting that internal push to be perfect...that is a lifelong resolution
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