(September 14, 2006)
Two years ago, my daughter, Jessie was just weeks away from starting 5th grade. Two of Jessie's best friends were Maya and Jenni. Both Maya and Jenni lived on our street. Jenni lived just two doors down.
One day, Jenni went to another friend's home and they went to play in the woods that run behind our homes. On that day they were swinging from vines in the woods until one of the vines pulled a large limb loose. It fell striking Jenni in the head. She later died from her injuries and Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. Jenni was her parents' only child.
In the past two years not a single day has passed that I have not thought of Kathy and Johnny (Jenni's parents) as I drive by their house. At our house, we have prayed as a family for Jenni's family and I have prayed for them as I drive by every day. I thought of them every time Jessie hit a life milestone - a birthday, braces, 6th grade, 7th grade, church youth group, etc. I thought about Kathy and Johnny who don't have that. I could not help thinking of them every day as I drove by their house. The problem was that I would always "drive BY." I never stopped. I didn't call. I don't really have any good reasons why I didn't. I have been busy. I know that I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I have by 12 year-old daughter and Kathy and Johnny do not. I spend some time every week sitting with people who are grieving. I know how to do that, but this was different for me. It was too close to me.
Anyway, after literal years of driving by, today I stopped. Kathy and Johnny were in the front yard. I stopped to apologize for not coming by and to see how they are doing. Johnny knows when I ask how he is doing, I mean it. So, he opened up. He told me that he still hurts like it was yesterday. He said, "Nothing has changed - even a little." He added, "The only thing that has changed is people don't come by anymore." That one hurt. I cried as I told him how I prayed for him regularly and how we thought of Jenni often and I cried as I apologized for not stopping by before. We talked a while longer until Jessie got home from school and walked down to the house. I felt that familiar guilt coming on and I left with Jessie. I promised to call Johnny for lunch some time and I will.
I pray God's forgiveness for not being His hands and ears for Kathy and Johnny. I have let my many shortcomings deny me the opportunity walk with them and let them share with me on the walk down the rocky, dirty road that is this life.
I transferred this message from a previous blog spot. I read through it again as I posted it. It is now 2008. I still think of Kathy and Johnny when I pass by their house, but still suck at being any good as a support for them. I pray for them, but God forgive me, I don't get much farther than that.
Two years ago, my daughter, Jessie was just weeks away from starting 5th grade. Two of Jessie's best friends were Maya and Jenni. Both Maya and Jenni lived on our street. Jenni lived just two doors down.
One day, Jenni went to another friend's home and they went to play in the woods that run behind our homes. On that day they were swinging from vines in the woods until one of the vines pulled a large limb loose. It fell striking Jenni in the head. She later died from her injuries and Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. Jenni was her parents' only child.
In the past two years not a single day has passed that I have not thought of Kathy and Johnny (Jenni's parents) as I drive by their house. At our house, we have prayed as a family for Jenni's family and I have prayed for them as I drive by every day. I thought of them every time Jessie hit a life milestone - a birthday, braces, 6th grade, 7th grade, church youth group, etc. I thought about Kathy and Johnny who don't have that. I could not help thinking of them every day as I drove by their house. The problem was that I would always "drive BY." I never stopped. I didn't call. I don't really have any good reasons why I didn't. I have been busy. I know that I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I have by 12 year-old daughter and Kathy and Johnny do not. I spend some time every week sitting with people who are grieving. I know how to do that, but this was different for me. It was too close to me.
Anyway, after literal years of driving by, today I stopped. Kathy and Johnny were in the front yard. I stopped to apologize for not coming by and to see how they are doing. Johnny knows when I ask how he is doing, I mean it. So, he opened up. He told me that he still hurts like it was yesterday. He said, "Nothing has changed - even a little." He added, "The only thing that has changed is people don't come by anymore." That one hurt. I cried as I told him how I prayed for him regularly and how we thought of Jenni often and I cried as I apologized for not stopping by before. We talked a while longer until Jessie got home from school and walked down to the house. I felt that familiar guilt coming on and I left with Jessie. I promised to call Johnny for lunch some time and I will.
I pray God's forgiveness for not being His hands and ears for Kathy and Johnny. I have let my many shortcomings deny me the opportunity walk with them and let them share with me on the walk down the rocky, dirty road that is this life.
I transferred this message from a previous blog spot. I read through it again as I posted it. It is now 2008. I still think of Kathy and Johnny when I pass by their house, but still suck at being any good as a support for them. I pray for them, but God forgive me, I don't get much farther than that.
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